Favorite Bro Codes for YOU?

So the question is what is your favorite "Guy" or "Girl" code you lived by... or a friend made you part of?

30) A Bro doesn't comparison shop.

31) When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

32) A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty.

33) When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to basketball toss his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball...rebounding is optional.

34) Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Three-way.

35) A Bro never rents a chick flick.

36) DD: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.

37) A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly they're not that heavy.

38) Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

39) When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her. The reason is Bro-flation. An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day, and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day. Before you know it, bros the world over will find themselves trapped in relationships and all because you couldn’t wait 96 little hours.

40) Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party." 
Big day on Friday... and I am glad it is almost here, as I make it closer and closer. Step... by step...
Why is it that girls don't like the Three Stooges? 
When was the last time you heard "The Curly Shuffle"?
-Jeremy [Retro-Zombie]



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  1. I think 32 is a very strong contender - but I'm biased as I got married at 32... odd coincidence that?

    Mr Jeremy, I was wondering if I could ask some questions regarding the role of creating book covers? Basically I'm looking to ease into that area of graphic work, but would like to pick the brains of a seasoned designer like yourself. If you are ok with that you can find my email addy on my blog 'About Me' section - I didn't wish to contact you via your work route, I thought that would be a tad rude.

    Many thanks :)

  2. 39 is made me LOL! These are great! And us women say men never think about anything besides sex, sports, and cars. Boy were we wrong... let me repeat... boy were we wrong.
    I love the Three Stooges btw!

  3. I've already blown number thirty-seven as I always get the door for my wife. Probably because I didn't wait ninety-six hours to call. Damn.

  4. How about Five Guys named Moe? I think they do the Curly shuffle.

    It's nice to know that guys have a 'code of BRO honour' (must have come out of those male-bonding groups seances). 96 hours indeed, and guys wonder why they get turned down! And you didn't mention how BROS fixate on mustaches or any facial hair, if they have it.

  5. "Look, but don't touch or put on layaway."

  6. The entire Bro Code is legendary. But I think I like the Playbook better.


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